Mommy

This one time, my gay roomates took me to a gay strip club here in Atlanta called Swinging Richards.  Upon walking in the club I was bombarded with images of gay porn on supersized flat screened tv's in every corner of the room.  I wanted someone to hold me...hold me tight.  It took them about 20 mins of coaxing me away from the comforts of the front door and the fresh air of the outside on my back.  Cooling me down.  I almost cried.  By the end of the night and a few adult beverages I had managed to 'out' one of the supposed homosexuals in the back room.  AND YES BAD THINGS HAPPEN IN THE BACK ROOMS!!! It was very Sex In The City.  I was very Samantha.  And I had no qualms about making out with a gay stripper. 

I tell you this because there haven't been many times in my life where I have felt the urge to curl into fetal, in the bathtub with the shower on, while listening to The Smiths.  There was that one night when I had to tune out gay porn and swinging richards for an entire evening, and this morning.

Someone looking for information on 'how to stimulate a dogs anal region' has been directed to my blog.  And I want my mommy.