I sold my Volvo! To this chick named Callie. (Hi Callie!) Yes. I gave her my blog address. So what? In fact. Not only did I give Callie my blog address, she got to see 'The Lazaro'.
How about I back it up.
Okay. So Callie comes to the house to inquire about my Volvo for sale. I toss her the keys and we go for a spin. In a 10 minute loop, I have equipped her with enough information to write my biography. We discuss nothing of the car. Who wants to talk about cars?? But she got to find out about Nye, and Marley, and the story behind my wedding BLING, and she knows all about Mr. Buck and how great he is and what he does, that I'm in love with Vern and that they don't like Bush, that I majored in Communications, and how I met Finance online, and how I am super anxious (as IF), that I'm wearing cowboy boots at the wedding, how I played tennis in high school, hate ethnic food, Finance's idea of 'ethnic tuesday' and how we went to Moroccan the other night, that I hate seafood, that I knit and will open a knitting shop one day, how I like to drive fast on side streets but have borderline anxiety attacks on the interstate, that we are traveling the world, that I went to FSU, lived in Tampa and hate UF. By the time we were back in front of the house and before she even had an opportunity to say 'Thanks Buhbye', I had her in Vern's guest bedroom looking at my wedding dress and veil.
I finally release Callie an hour later and sit down to a glass of wine and think to myself 'HOLY FUCK, WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED TO ME?'. I'm thinking, this must be what Finance is talking about when he tells Meredith in therapy that he gets so anxious about what is going to come out of my mouth....at any given moment, in any number of circumstances. I am looser than a loose cannon. Like WAY loose.
Moments like these happen to me all the time. I feel like I'm on speed for christ sakes. And then when I finally slow down, I'm all like WTF? Who was that? So Vern comes home later that night. I tell her all about my new best friend Callie. Vern's all like 'So does she like the car?' I'm thinking hell if I know, I was too busy talking about me. I said 'I don't know, but she loved my dress!'. Well, at least we know where my priorities are.
Omg. I'm so pumped up about this wedding!
And I died my hair. Again. I'm a brunette. Total brunette. Pictures tomorrow.
Word to your mother.
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