It's 5am. Do You Know Where Your Soap Has Been?

The other day my morning radio talk show folks were discussing the topic of bodily cleanliness.  Someone asked the question:

'You don't use the same loofah you use to wipe your butt, to wash your face DO YOU?'

And immediately everyone was all like:

'oh hell no!  are you crazy? pfffff'. 

And I sat there in my car hearing this thinking to myself, why, I have never considered this before.  Suddenly I felt this sinking, pit of my stomach, omg, am I a dirty hippy feeling. 

Does the rest of the world actually have TWO loofahs stocked in their showers?  One for ass/cooch/and balls and another for everything else?  No way!?  I have NEVER seen two god damned loofahs in your shower.  Had I been raised wrong?  Had I been in the dark all these years?  Had I not gotten the FUCKING MEMO?

And then they went on to discuss bars of soap.  Same question. 

'You don't use the same soap you swipe your butt with, to rub all over the rest of your body...do you??' 

Again.  Same response in unison. 

'Oh hell no!  That's gross! Ewwwww!'. 

Panic.  Omg.  I totally just swiped my whooha this morning and two seconds later rubbed it in my face and guess what.  I didn't think a damn thing of it. 

ITS FUCKING SOAP!!  And I had always assumed that the loofah at all times has got to be pretty damn clean...seeing how it spends most of its life soaked in soap.  RIGHT?  RIGHT PEOPLE???

Tell me you don't have separate soaps, and separate loofas for your ass.  Because if you do, I'm just going to pack my bags tonight and go quarantine myself from the rest of you FREAKS!

Now what this conversation DID do for me, was enlighten me to the FACT that I may think twice before I ever use someone elses bar of shower soap to wash my face.