(okay so I'm a complete wussy and after sleeping on it, i have decided i'm not adult enough to use the word 'pussy' in a blog title.)
DISCLAIMER:
I don't like to discriminate, but heterosexual men and lesbian women, and VERN, are not allowed to play.
In my experimental days (drugs, sex and rock and roll ya know?), I kissed a girl or two. There was a good period of my adolesence, conveniently around the time that two of my close girlfriends started sharing bodily fluids in the middle of the night at sleepovers...and later came out that they were 'a couple'..where I decided I needed to kiss some girls to make sure I didn't 'have what they had'. I always thought the 'cock and balls' package on a man, was completely disturbing...and since I had discovered masturbation using my fathers Playboys and always preffered to use images of 'women' to men, I thought PERHAPS I was a closet lesbian. I found that kissing girls did not make me FEEL any different than kissing boys. Perhaps a bit more sensual...and a little less agressive, but kissing a woman never made me feel connected the same way kissing a man did. I pretty much decided after that, that I was straight. Eating pussy for further investigation was not an option. And I have never been able to wrap my head (lips?) around the idea of going down on a woman. EWWWWWW. A turn on? Sure. Would I do it for money? Maybe. A fantasy? Hell no. Now I could suck a boobie. Boobies are great. If I could suck my own I probably would. But I can't...so we'll leave that to Finance. N-EEE-WHO! Vern, are you still breathing? Actually Vern, you aren't allowed to play this game b/c if your son reads this shit and sees his mother talking about whose pussy she'd eat, I will never hear the end of it and he will be scarred for life. We need him for the wedding, that dress was too damn expensive to waste on talking about pussy. Now, my point is...if Jenna Elfman wanted me to give her 'head'...I would. She's hot. Actually shes BEAUTIFUL. And I would do that for her. With a box of babywipes, I could get the job done. And I'm sure Finance wouldn't mind watching.
I don't know who did this photograph, but it is INCREDIBLE. Why can't I look like that???
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